


Since when did animals get this big?

by ZeGreatCamicazi



Category: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Cartoon), The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, F/F, ITS BEEN LIKE 5 CHAPTERS, Lesbians, Lumity, Mega mutes, POOF - Freeform, SHE ALSO DOES DONT GIVE A FUCK, TURNS OUT ITS DR. EMILIA NOT DR. AMELIA, all the characters retain their charchteristics, and the world goes to shit, eda is a QUEEN, its starts out in school, like damn, lumity fluff, lumity hurt/comfort, no boiling isles, owl house charachters in kipo universe, sleeping bag lumity, their in the human realm technically, then mega mutes just, why did no one tell me, witches and magic still exsist tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:41:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26325076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeGreatCamicazi/pseuds/ZeGreatCamicazi
Summary: The day wasn't going to bad, she had been called to the principles office but that was pretty much itThen mega mutes poofed into existence and the town went from a little messy to apocolpse----My first fic on this site, so apologise for any errors
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 11
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

It was quite a normal day, excluding the call to the principal. Then the world went to shit.

It all started after second lunch.

'Hey Luz!'

'Gus! Willow! Wait, Amity?' Luz said as she left the office, spotting her friends. Well she's not sure about Amity, but she's getting there.

'Hi luz' She said, her face growing red, the Good Witch Azura 5 in her hand.

'What did you get called in fo-AH!' Gus yelled, the snake luz had in her right hand jumping out of her hand, ready to bite.

'GUS!' Everyone yelled, including amity, who had dropped luz's Azura book in preparation to help him. She ended up kicking the snake a couple feet away from him

He didn't get bit thankfully, but he looked quite dazed.

'Are you OK??' Luz said, panicked.

'Yeah, I am.' He said, his hand on his head. ' I am kinda dizzy though.'

'Hmm, I'm feeling dizzy too.' Willow said looking confused.'

Amity's eyes widened slightly as she stood up, handing the book back to Luz. 'I-i am too.'

Luz put the book in her bag. 'Guys I think something is wrong.'

As she said that, the snake began 'glitching' on the ground then began growing and growing and growing. 

'COME ON!!' Luz yelled, grabbing Amity's hand, her small blush spreading from ear to ear as she started running. Willow began drawing a spell circle to give them a head start from the literal titanoboa growing behind them.

By the time they got out of the school the snake (and the back up snakes) had grown to over 40 foot long and looked like something drawn by an edgy 3rd grader.

Outside wasn't any better.

It seemed like the 6 or 7 hours they where in school, the world had gone through an entire zombie Apocalypse and a nuclear war to boot.

Every animal was supersized, the six inch long snake Luz had brought had grown into a 40 foot long DINOSAUR. The bird Willow had been feeding during lunch grew to 7 or 8 foot tall.

Worst of all, they could SPEAK.


	2. This is it, the apocalypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang finds someone who could help them understand what's going on

'MOVE!'

The gang jumped at the lowd noise followed by thumping footsteps. They turned around to find he source of he noise.

It turned out to be a large... dragon? It had deep blue scales, an extra set of eyes on its cheekbones, six legs, eight wings and three long tails.

It swept the snakes aside with its claws before snapping up and eating the last one.

Luz shudderd.

The dragon bobbed its head quickly, turning into a witch-like person.

Except it had horns, a tail, cat eyes, wings and a fang like Luz's aunt Eda.

He extended his hand towards Luz, a half-smile on his face.

'Hi, I'm Elikai. Your welcome for saving you by the way.' 

Luz shook his hand, rather reluctantly granted  
She began speaking when Amity shoved her aside.

'Thanks, I'm Amity, this is Luz and these two are Willow and Gus. Do you mind telling us what's going on?'

He looked her with slight concern before saying  
'Follow me.' 

Gus then addressed the question they were all thinking, 'Are you sure we should be trusting this person. I mean we just got dropped into a new world that we have no idea how it works and we're just going to trust the first person we see?

They all looked at eachother before saying 'Yeah pretty much.'

Gus sighed and started walking.

After 30 minutes of dodging massive animals, they got to what Luz assumed to be Elikai's base.

It was a crumbled apartment complex.

They got to Elikai's room and he indicated for them to sit down. While they were doing that, Luz noticed she was still holding Amity's hand.

Amity blushed and let go.

'So, Elikai, do you mind explaining whatever the fuk is going on right now.' Amity said, sitting as far away from Luz as she could in the surprisingly small room. 

He ignored the question and pointed to Willow.  
'Where'd you get that outfit?'

She pulling slightly on her uniform. 'Its my school uniform.'

'From where?' He said, the look of confusion and concern not leaving his face.

'....Hexide?' Willow said, fear creeping on her face.

'The Hexide that was destroyed over 3 centuries   
ago?'

The gang looked at each other, pureblooded fear in all their faces.


	3. no more hexide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elikai explains how hexide got destroyed

'It-it what?' Gus was the first to regain his senses.

Elikai got up and walked to one of his boxes and picked up a book, flicking through the pages.

'300 years ago, Glandis high got sick of always being in Hexides shadow. So they started a secret track, the nuke track. The teacher and their 7 students began carefully cultivating the perfect plan.'

Amity got up and sat beside Luz and grabbed her hand.

'They created a special nuke, design to destroy Hexide and everything in there. But they messesd up, not only did it destroy Hexside, they deformed every living thing on the planet. From they birds to the bugs everything grew in both inellegence and size. They world went downhill from then now on.'

Willow began examining a plant on the ground.

'The animals, now known as mutes, became human like after a couple decades. From the Newton wolves to the Humingbombs every mute developed a thing, a talent, a knack if you will. Humans and witches were no longer the most powerful race.'

'Anyways, how did ye four get here. Time travel?'

'I-I don't know.'

Elikai sniffed and pointed to Gus. 'Your friend here smells like Traveller snake.'

The colour drained from Luz's face.

'Did he get bit?'

Gus clenched his seat.

'No, I wasn't

He closed his book. 'A traveller snake never tries to bite its opponent. By biting the air its venom forces the surrounders to "travel" to the future.'

'That makes no sense' Amity said, her resting bitch face... on her face.

'Ex-actley' Elikai said.

He got up to put his book back and reached for a pirate sword he had in the corner.

'Elikai, what's going on?' Luz said slowley.

His face hardened as he walked to the door.  
'Don't.Fucking.Move'

A female voice knocked on the door. 'Elikai dearie, I'm home and brought SOUP.'

'Hell naw.'


	4. i would like to have a mental breakdown please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confusion

'Who's that?' Luz said, reaching into her bag to get her stack of rune papers. Gus, Willow and Amity began drawing spell circles.

Elikai opened the door and just as soon as he opened it, closed it. He looked at the gang, a grim expression on his face.

'We need to leave. Now. Grab whatever you want, just be quick.' 

Amity grabbed two daggers, Willow grabbed some seed packets, Gus got a gun and some ammo and Luz took the book Elikai had used earlier and a sword.

Elikai picked up Gus and Willow and jumped out the window. Luz peeked out and saw them landing on an overgrown bus. Amity summoned an abomination to help them down.

As they were running through some old shopping street Luz took a split second to look at what they were running from. She did not like what she saw.

The first thing she spotted was an extremely tall six-armed monkey and on top of its top right arm was a blond-haired woman in a fancy lab coat pointing at Luz and her friends. The monkey let out a tribal roar and charged.

Seeing what was going on Elikai yelled 'GET BEHIND ME!!' And shifted into his dragon form.  
Blue energy swirling around him.

Luz could hardley remember what happened next.

Elikai, despite being less than half the size of the monkey, charged. 

Amity summoned several abominations to help him.

Willow and Gus teamed together to make an over powerd plant.

And Luz? Luz kept running.

They ran until it felt like they would die. They ended up collapsing in the middle of the woods.

When Luz woke up, she had a small panic attack as she recounted what happened the day. Luckily almost all her friends were there, except...

'Elikai! She gasp yelled. She ended up waking Gus, Willow and Amity, all of whom were extremely dirty.

'What happened?' 

'Where are we?'

'Where's Elikai?' 

With some tears on her face Luz said 'I think the lady and her monkey got 'im'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry is these seem rushed, I have school. And I want to get these chapters out as fast as I can


	5. fluff, character developement and swear words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some lumity and a lot of background explaining for Elikai
> 
> Gus and willow ship lumity btw
> 
> Eda shows up like the queen she is

Amity got up saying 'So let me get this straight, we're in a world that we have no idea how it works and we lost the ONE PERSON THAT CAN STOP US DYING!?' 

'Yea pretty much.'

'Luz, I wonder his you still live.'

'Lmao me too.'

'Well then, let's go.' Willow said, hopping out of her lying-down position to help Gus up.

They began walking.

\----

'Oh jeezus, not here again.' Elikai muttered. He was in a dark room, tied to a chair with a piece of rope. The only source of light coming from a computer slightly obscured by a person, female if he had to guess by their build, that had a cloak on.

'Ah, you're awake.' The figure said, clacking some keys on their computer before turning to face him, face still obscured by lack of light and the hood.

'You understand why I brought you here?' The figure said, annoyingly calm.

He sighed, 'No.' The answer always varied so he liked to see wich one he'd get.

'You're not mute, you're not human. What ARE you.' The figure said, muttering the last sentence as they turned around back to the computer.

He decided to play the annoying card.

'I'm Elikai, surely you must know that.'

'You are a human that can change into a mute, but you did not have mute DNA injected into you before you were born. I want to figure out how you were born both mute and human, yet also neither.' The figure said, pulling down their hood revealing ...

'Amelia' Elikai snarled.

'Dr. Amelia' She said, a finger pointed upwards.

\---

'So what do you think the name should be?' Willow said to Gus. He turned to her.

'The wat?' Gus said, slight confusion in his voice.

'Y'now, the ship name.'

He looked interested, 'Mbtween whom?'

Willow pointed to Amity and Luz, who were walking about 10 feet ahead of them, Luz infodumping on a heavily blushing Amity.

'Lamity?' He said, finger on his chin in thought.

'Sounds weird, what about,' she snapped a pair of finger guns at him. 'Lumity'

Gus put his hands on his face in excitement, gasping. 'YEEEEESSSSSS!!!!' He screamed.

''Was 'at?' Amity said said, turning around. Luz also stopped infodumping to turn around, hands raised as she was mid-sentence when Gus screamed.

'Oh nothing, Gus just stepped on a bug.'

Luz shrugged and resumed walking and infodumping.

\----

'What do you want me to do this time.' Elikai sighed, thoroughly disinterested.

'First, I need to kill you.' Dr. Amelia said, weirdly calm.

Elikai barely heard her as he tried turning his arms into dragon legs. He failed.

'Oh don't try doing that. I injected you with a special serum' She wiggled a syringe between her fingers. 'that will stopbyou from shifting into your dragon self.'

'Oh'

Two cloaked figures walked into the room, one quite round and the other quite small.

'Uhh boss?' The short one said, warily.

'Yes?' Amelia said turning the duo.

'This weird lady just broke into the building.'

'Then stop her.'

'But she drew' the round one whispered hand covering the left side of their mouth. 'spell circles'

Elikai's eyes widened with interest and Dr. Amelia walked towards the two.

'What colour was here hair and did she or did she not have a fang poking out of her mouth.'  
She said seriosly.

'G-grey and she did.' The short one stuttered.

'That means it's-

'EDA THE OWL LADY AND IM ABOUTTA KICK ALL YALLS ASSES.' 

The two people got knocked over as a grey-haired person with a wooden staff in her hand and dog-racoon-skeleton demon thing in her hair strutted into the room.

\----

Luz, Amity, Gus and Willow were walking into a white building as they thought it would be a good place to rest when they heard ''EDA THE OWL LADY AND IM ABOUT TO KICK ALL YALLS ASSES'

'Oh shid that's my aunt.' Luz wheeze yelled as she ran to the source of the sound, Amity, Gus and willow desperately running behind her.

'Oh hi Luz' Eda said, turning her head to face the four as she beat the absolute HECK out of Amelia while Elikai cheered from his spot on the chair : 'WOO GO LADY I DONT EVEN KNOW, KICK HER ASS!!'

Amity let out a draw-out squeak as she looked from Eda to Elikai to Luz to Dr.Amelia getting her ass kicked. She walked to to Elikai, and using her daggers, untied him.

'Thanks lesbo.'

'Wait what's a les-' she began saying before Elikai put a finger to her lips.

By the time all this finished, Eda had knocked out Dr. Amelia and banged her staff on the ground; 'Now, let get out of this dump. Dragon kid, you fly Tweedledum and tweedldee and me and owlbert will fly the gays.' She first indicated to Gus and Willow then Luz and Amity.

Surprisingly, no one questioned her statement and climbed on their respective flyers.

Around two hours later, Elikai began to grow tired. His wings began flapping less and less and he stopped talking.

'Hey dragon boy?' Eda said, noticing his change in demeanour .

'Hngggffff' Elikai muttered. Carrying two people wasn't easy when you had a serum injected into you that stops you using your most useful trait.

Eda looked down and said 'Its ok, you can land now.'

He immediately perked up and dived down, wings wrapped around Gus and Willow to stop them falling of and landed with only a small amount of everybody falling.

Eda indicated with her free hand as she landed owlbert 'Welcome to the-

'OH MY HOOTS VISITORS FINALLY SOMEONE CAN LISTEN TO MY STORIES HOOT HOOT.' An obnoxiously high pitched voice screamed.

'-The owl house'

(Outro music starts playing)


	6. by the greek goddess of smort, there will be fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LUMITY
> 
> (Elikai is 13 btw)

'HOW HOUSE OWL SPEAK WHAT HOO-' Elikai stammered, immediately snapping out of his tiredness at the sight of the monstrosity that is Hooty.

Eda grumbled. 'That is my... house guard Hooty.' 

'Oh.' Elikai said, still tired and scared, but now with closure.

'He's also my house.' Eda said calmy as she opened the door.

*sad, confused Elikai noises follow*

As soon as they entered, Elikai positively collapsed on to the couch. Rightly so, he had been carrying two people on his back for over two hours.

He was also glowing green despite the fact his skin is blue.

Luz decided to address this.

'Hey, um, Eli, are you aware you're glowing?'

She got a snore in response.

'Ah let the kid sleep, it was a long flight. King,' Eda indicated to the demon. 'Make sure his 'orns don't stab anyfing. Luz, you and your friends should fit in your room.'

Luz's room was just but it could sleep four people if needed.

As Eda dragged a mattress into the room she said 'don't trash the place and Amity, don't kill Hooty.

Amity glared daggers at the ground as she laid her daggers against the wall.

30 minutes later they had all settled down, finally rid of the stress their new world had brought upon them.

The last one awake, Luz had finished 3 of the Azura books and was moving on to number 4.  
When she sat back down after grabbing the book and opening on page 1 she noticed a face in her shoulder and an arm on her chest. Luz turned to face none other than Amity Blight.

'Amity's hugging me!!' Luz gushed, clapping her hands in her excitement, accidentally waking her in the process.

'Wuzgdvfyam?' Amity said, using her arm to push herself up. It was the arm she had over Luz.

'You were hugging me in your sleep and I got exited.' Luz muttered sadly.

'Would... you like me to do it again?' Amity said slightly nervous.

'Yes plz.' Luz replied.

The duo then fell asleep to the sound of each others hearts.

\----

'Fucking gays' Eda whispered as she observed the scene.

\----

The next morning Elikai's greenness had not faded. He also still could not shift. Eda had noticed and like the mom figure she is, was concerned.

'Ayo dragon boi waz going on wiv your green ness' Eda said this before she had her apple blood so yea.

'You know that lady whomz ass you kicked the other day?' Elikai said, stretching violently .

'The blond bitch?' Eda said from the kitchen as she got her much needed apple blood.

'I fink the serum she injected me with that's stopping me shifting is either weaking or starting round two.' Elikai said noticing Luz and Amity climbing down the stairs.

''Sup Lesbos.' He said, arm over the back of the chair.

Amity threw her arms in the air, annoyed. 'WHAT A GOD DAMM LESBO'

Luz whispered something to Amity and said to Elikai. 'I'll have you know I am in fact a bisexual'

'Oh my apologies, lesbo and bibo.'


	7. ok back to the actual plot.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *inhales*
> 
> STRAIGHT HAIR  
> STRAIGHT A'S  
> STRAIGHT FORWARD-

Once they had got ready and stopped Amity from un aliving Hooty, they were ready to leave.  
After talking for a bit, they decided to head to the ruins of Hexide like the absolute geniuses they are.

'Hey Elikai, can you shift yet?' Willow asked as they walked through the woods.

He flicked his right arm, saying 'Nep, still a-glowin.'

'This is gonna bite us in the arse.' Willow muttered to herself, forgetting Elikai had impeccable hearing.

'Probly will.' Elikai responded, quietly laughing at the end of his sentence.

Willow froze for at split second at that before she continued walking.

\----

'So how can we get him back?' Dr. Amelia asked to the 4 other people sat around the table.

'Kidnap his friends?' Short mused.

'Kidnap him?' Tall-and-round asked.

'Use one of our mutes to kidnap him?' Short-but-with-a-beard questioned.

'Bait him with a chicken nugget?' Tall un-ironacly said.

Dr. Amelia regrets hiring this eejit daily.

\----

'By the loyal white hat that the good witch Azura  
wears, what. the. fuck.' Luz muttered as she spotted the liquid ruins of Hexide.

Seriously it was bubbling, Like full on green and black acid blowed-into-my-milk bubbling.

Willow and Gus walked into the woods to throw up.

'Wow, you really weren't joking when you said Hexide got nuked.' Amity said, desperately trying not to throw up.

'Amity, my dear friend, I only lie when it benefits me. Lying to the four gays I am some how travelling with is not benifical any way shape or form.' Elikai said, a neutral expression on his face the entire time.

Amity did not respond.

'You wanna go in?' Elikai asked loudly as Gus amd Willow returned from the woods.

'ITS LITERALLY LIQUID YOU DENSE CABBAGE!' Willow yelled, wiping puke of of her face.

Elikai over dramaticly gasped, hand to his chest as Amity puked in the background.

\----

'Could we use Song again?' Short-and-round asked.

'Do you mean the same Song you just lost tO THOSE WEIRD ASS KIDS??' Dr. Amelia said, her sentence starting out angry, ended out yelling.

' ' Short-and-round responded nervously.  
yes

Dr. Amelia slapped the table in anger. 'If you don't get that damned kid after sundown, I'll feed you to the mega white shark.'

They all gulped and left the room.

'Time to start the real plan.' Dr. Amelia silently laughed, doing that evil finger hand thing you always see in movies.

\----

Once everybody had thrown up at least twice, they realised it was time to head back to the owl house.

Elikai's green colouring had faded just enough so you could see his natural skin tone, but just barely. He still could not shift.

Everyone else was green though.

Except Amity, Amity was so red you couldn't tell she was green at all.

Back at they owl house, Hooty had fallen asleep so they could enter the house without Amity getting homicidal.

'Did anybody die?' Eda asked as they walked inside.

'Yes Eda, we had a good day thanks for asking.' Luz muttered as she, Amity, Gus and Willow walked upstairs.

'No we didn't .' Amity said as she walked into the room.

Without question Luz and Amity climbed into the same /sleeping bag/ and fell asleep hugging each other.

This time Eda took a picture and showed it to Elikai and King.


	8. I think somethings wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story begins to close
> 
> *sike*

'Oh heck.' Luz muttered as she made breakfast.

'What's wrong kiddo?' Eda said as she entered the kitchen.

'I'm dizzy again.' Luz muttered, sadly.

'That's a problem how?' Eda asked, picking up King so he could eat.

'Well, we got her because we felt dizzy after a snake almost bit Gus, so it might be fading and I'm not ready to go home yet.' Luz said as Amity, Gus and Willow walked into the kitchen.

'Ah.' Eda said.

'I can fix that.' Eda said, smiling in hope that statement would make the others happy.

It did.

'YOUCANDOTHATPLEASEDO!!' Luz happy-yelled.

''Sup bitches.' Elikai said as he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a pancake.

'EDA KNOWS A WAY WE CAN STAY HERE!!' Luz ran up to Elikai and hugged him as she said that, getting a surprised grunt from him.

'Heh, that's good.' Elikai said, ruffling Luz's hair.

'Whoa, calm down, the methods highly illegal and extremely dangerous.' Eda said, hands raised in that 'slow down' gesture.

'SO?' Luz, Amity, Gus, Willow and Elikai collectively yelled.

'I have taught y'all well.' Eda laughed.

\----

'I never thought I'd have to resort to this mockery.' Dr. Amelia muttered as she walked through one of the many hallways of mute buildings.

'Tell me how to do magic.' She said to the black-haired woman chained to the wall.

'Free me first.' The woman said, looking at the ground.

'Listen here Clawthorne, if you don't help me, I'll leave you here without food or water.' Dr. Amelia said, getting angry.

The woman sighed. 'You got paper?'

'No' Dr. Amelia said, anger fading into confusion.

'Well then get some. And a pen as well.' Clawthorne said, finally looking up.

She had an extremely pale face, a large forehead, leaf-green eyes and long black hair.

30 minutes later, Dr. Amelia had returned with a pad of paper and a pen, ready to learn rune-paper magic.

Clawthorne showed her different runes and what they meant. They covered fire, ice, plants, illusions and abominations.

'Thank you Lilith.' Dr. Amelia said as she left the room


	9. Elikai, King, Eda, Dr. Amelia and Yumyan for some reason.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *insert lyrics of ordinary*

"Oh look, a furry." Eda noted as they walked through the marketplace.

"Owl lady, that's a timbercat." Elikai grumbled, absolutley COVERED in shopping bags and King.

"Did I fucking stutter dragon boi." Eda replied. They both knew eacothers names, they just refused to use them.

"YUMYAN CHALLENGES THIS WITCH TO A SCRATCHING DUEL." One of the 'furries' pointed his axe at Eda. He was about a foot taller than the others. He had a blue cheqered shirt that looked like it was poorly photoshopped on.

"No." Eda said, dragging Elikai through a dark alley way.

They were trying to get the first item for the spell that would keep Luz, Amity, Gus and Willow in the future. Unfortunately, Eda gets easily distracted, especially by shiny things.

But not timbercats, for some un known reason.

The one who calls himself ' Yumyan' began chasing the two. And he was hella fast. Eda decided it would be a good idea to bring out Owlbert and fly away. Unfortunately, Yumyan spotted what Eda was doing and jumped up to catch Owlbert.

As he dragged Owlbert down towards him. Elikai and Kind fell off and smacked Yumyan in the face.

"ARGH!" Yumyan yelled as he got hit in the face by the former king of demons and a half dragon boi.

"SNACK ATTACK!!" Eda yelled, throwing down a packet of Hex Mix. She picked up Elikai and King and flew off to the actual place they needed to head to.

The Emperors castle .

\----

It had taken several hours, but Dr. Amelia had finally gotten the hang of paper-rune magic. It was time to initiate plan Fukdatkid.

Step 1: Capture his friends.

This was going to be hard. She might have to refer to the chikin-nugget plan. But only if step 1 fails miserably.

"First, get a dog." Dr. Amelia muttered to herself as she walked towards one of the mute-storage areas. Contained in there was some of the few mutes that are in the form they were in 300 years ago.

Such as a dog.

Dr. Amelia chose an Irish Greyhound as it would be easish to spot due to its size compared to the other mutes in the cages.

His name was Rolf by the way.

"Now where could 'is friends be hiding" Dr. Amelia muttered as she walked the dog through the corridors and out of the door. 

She began listing places that would be good for hiding before thinking of "the owl house!" it was the perfect place for outlaws, considering the monstrosity that guards it.

Granted, it would take a good hour just to travel there, but if Dr. Amelia could find out *what* gave Elikai the ability to shapeshift, humans could finally take back the earth and bring it back to its former glory.

\----

"So here's the plan," Eda said as she, King and Elikai approached the emperors castle. "Dragon boi, you and King will head through that window there and knock out the guards while I sneak through the doorway and nab a couple goods."

"Then we meet up in the room underneath the petrification grounds and grab that piece of the emperors mask that for some reason hasn't been moved yet. Sound good?" Eda turned her head to face Elikai and King.

They nodded in response.

"Onwards!' Eda yelled, sticking her hand in the air as they swooped towards the window Elikai and King had to head through. 

They climbed through and Elikai shed his bags and hid them under several plants. With a victorious 'nyeh!' from King, they began walking through the many hallways towards the underneath of the petrification grounds.

Disturbingly, they only encountered a dozen guards through the entire journey that werent to hard to defeat.

After the seventh guard, Kings smol legs began to get tired so, in a moment of pure genius, Elikai put King on his head and King grabbed on to Elikai's horns so he wouldn't fall off.

By the time they had got to the room underneath the petrification grounds, Eda hadn't showed up.

10 minutes later, Eda still hadn't shown up, so they began searching for the piece of the mask incase the were discovered before they found the mask piece.

An hour later they had found the mask piece and Eda had still not shown up.

"Should we go look for her?" King looked up st Elikai who nodded and bent down so he could climb on his head.

King could only grab one of Elikai's horns as he had the mask piece in his right hand.

They checked room, after room, after room but still they didn't find Eda. Finally, they desired to check what King said was the treasure room. There was also a large noise coming from inside so that was promising.

Elikai slowley opened the door reveling...

"EDA!" Elikai and King yelled spotting the grey-haired woman crouching on the ground, arms and mouth full of various treasures.

"Mmphh!" Eda said before spitting out the treasures. 'I said I was grabbing some goods first!'

"ITS BEEN AN HOUR" Elikai yelled, throwing his arms in the air, almost knocking King of his head.

"Really? It felt like 10 minutes. Did you find the mask piece?" Eda asked, standing up, a couple diamonds falling out of her hands.

King thrusted his small arm in the air, showing off the dust, faded mask piece.

"Well then, let go!" Eda said, walking out of the door.

"You owe us some apple blood when we get home." Elikai grumbled as they walked to wards the door.

"Hey where are my bags?" Eda asked as they got on Owlbert.

"Fuck off owl lady." Elikai answered as he placed King on the staff.

\----

"Good, that demon is asleep.' Dr. Amelia whispered as she hid behind a bush.

"HI DR. AMELIA, HERE TO CAPTURE ME I PRESUME?" Elikai yelled as he passed overhead.

Dr. Amelia didn't know weather to answer yes or just yell.

Eda landed the staff and Elikai ran over to her, shifting into the dragon for the first time in several days.

The dragon crouched down, his pupils the size of Dr. Amelia's legs, and said: " Just leave, you know you're never going to capture me or anybody else like me. Leave."

Dr. Amelia took his advise and ran.

\----

"Wait, you can shift again?" Eda noted as Elikai turned demi human again.

"Yes, you blindass-" Elikai began to say but Eda shoved her hand in his face and walked inside.

"We're home gays!" Eda yelled as she plopped onto the couch.

Luz practically yeeted herself down the stairs. It was about 1 in the morning but little things like sleep won't stop Luz Noceda. She hugged everybody saying something in spanish to all three of them.

"Calm down kid we were gone for like 6 hours." Eda grumbled, trying and failing to push Luz away.

"Eda do you remember what happened the last time you went to the emperors castle?" Luz said, slightly passive aggresivley. 

"Fair enough." Eda mumbled.

"Whom the fu- oh hi Eda." Amity said as she walked down the stairs, obviosly woken by Luz yeeting herself down the stairs.

"Hello " Eda responded, climbing down into a sleeping position.

"Wait that's where I sleep." Elikai said quietley.

"Mmmmmn fuck off." Eda mumbled.

(Outro music starts playing)


	10. item number (insert irish equivalent for the number 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BUT THE CHARACTERS I READ
> 
> NEVER ACT OR LOOK LIKE ME
> 
> I CANT DEPEND ON THEM TO LEAD ME THROUGH THE RIGHT DOOR

"So Eda, how many more items do we need?" Luz asked as everybody that lives in the owl house (excluding Hooty and the night critteres of course) walked up the Knee ™.

Eda counted on her fingers. "Two."

"Oh really? That's easy." Luz said, getting quite exited as she expected more.

"We need a Slitherbeast fang." Eda re-attached her fingers.

" wait wHAT!" Amity screeched, stopping to process this statement.

"Specifically, one of its front lonk ones." Eda said way too nonchalantly for someone about to attack a SLITHERBEAST.

"Hey, at least its not one of the back ones." Elikai elbowed Amity.

"You can turn into a DRAGON" The screech turn ing from shock into fear.

They continued walking.

\----

Despite the fact they had 7 people it could take anywhere from 5 minutes to a couple days to find the Slitherbeast the Knee™ was/is that big.

They decided to split up to save time. King with Eda, Gus with Willow, Elikai on his own and Luz and Amity.

King and Eda didn't actually search, they just pick pocketed anybody they could find.

Gus and Willow searched using plants that were powered by illusions. Also Gus brought his gun.

Elikai turned into a dragon and searched from above.

Finally, Luz and Amity hopped on an abomination and searched the caves.

Guess who found the Slitherbeast.

Thats right, Lumity did.

"Hey look, its the Slitherbeast." Luz pointed to the sleeping beast.

Amity gulped. This was not going to be good.

Amity drew a circle of teleportation and teleported the other five to the cave. Thankfully, Elikai shifted back to demi human before he got teleported to the cave.

"Oh look, the Slitherbeast." Eda said.

"So what's the plan?" Gus asked looking quite fearful.

"Wait, I thought Elikai had a plan." Eda looked slightly baffled.

"I though YOU had a plan." Elikai bent his elbows and knees slightly and looked quite scared.

"Oh fuck" Amity wheezed out.

"Mood." Eda said.

"Wait, wait i got a plan," Elikai pointed a finger in the air.

"Oh thank the titan." Amity put a hand to her heart.

"I rip out its fang while everybody else, inclucing King, distracts 'im." Elikai genuinely was serious.

"FUCKING H E L L." Amity legitimately started crying as this, not because Elikai is willing to sacrifice himself, but that Luz could get hurt (;))

\----

Once they had all gotten into their self given positions, they were ready to steal a 3'5 fang off the Slitherbeast™.

"BLEEP-BLOOP-BLEEP" Luz yelled and they charged.

"WWRRAAARRRGGGHHH!!" The slitherbeast roared.

Elikai flicked both his arms into dragon legs and launched himself at the beast.

Eda drew a spell circle and some yellow fire came out of it.

King also launched himself at the beast.

Gus and Willow duo'd to create a magic magic plant.

Amity summoned an abomination and launched it at the beast.

Luz last minute slapped a couple paper runes on the abomination yelling "I. AM. HELPING."

The Slitherbeast had so little time to react due to the sheer amount of children attacking it. By the time it could do anything, Elikai had already ripped out its fang and started yeeting himself out of the cave.

Thankfully it was so distracted, everybody managed to get out of the cave without injury.

"Item number too!" Elikai yelled victoriously, thrusting the fang in the air.

\---

(Outro music starts playing but this time with Little Miss Perfect playing in the background.)


	11. oui oui mon ami jemapple Laffayette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lancelot of the revolutionary set
> 
> I came from afar just to say bonsoir
> 
> To the king "casse-toi"
> 
> Who's the best? Ce moi

"So what's the last fing?" Elikai asked, looked up at Eda. He had spent the good part of the last hour scrubbing dirt, blood and flesh of the Slitherbeast fang as Eda said the cleaner the fang, the better.

"Spit" Eda responded, not looking up from her pot as she cooked dinner.

"Waitwat." Elikai was slightly shocked, everything before this was much harder than /spit/.

"Spit." Eda said, looking at her spell book. "Anyone who was brought here due to the airborne venom of the Traveler Snake needs to spit into a pot. The spit is then mixed with an artifact from the year the people travelled from, and a Slitherbeast fang. The mixture is then drunk."

"Haha what." Luz said as she and Amity entered the room, shortly followed by Gus and Willow.

"You drink it." Elikai said, having just finished polishing the fang.

Willow shuddered.

"So." Eda cracked her knuckles and pulled out a medium sized pot. "Get spittin'"

\----

With a bit of or reluctance, Gus, Willow, Amity and Luz spat in the pot. 

Elikai crushed up the Slitherbeast fang and dropped the dust into the pot.

King dropped the mask piece in the mixture.

Eda stirred the now-potion and it turned from a chalky white to a poison green.

"Ew." Amity noted.

The group crowded around the table as the potion began to glow.

Eda removed the spoon and grabbed six cups.

"Drink up." Eda filled each cup with the foul-smelling liquid.

Elikai quickly addressed a big detail. "Just, be cautious. This world may be fun initially, but its extremely hard to live in. Things like medicine and shoes are insanley hard to find. So if any of you have an allergy, don't bother drinking."

"Also Eda, why is there six cups?" Elikai was slightly confused by this.

"For me and King." Eda passed a cup down to King and they both took a swig. And gagged, hard.

"Well, drink up gang." Luz said, forcefully.

Luz, Gus, Willow and Amity drunk the potion.

After several minutes of gagging and almost throwing up, the potion had worked.

They were now stuck in the year 2320, forever.

\---

(You get the gig, outro music with LMP as well.)


	12. Watch She-Ra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its on netflix
> 
> Also I am a firm believer in the Edric & Luz dynamic as they are both chaotic gays.

"So Elikai, I have a very much important question." Luz asked, the day after they took the potion.

"Go on." Elikai turned to face Luz. He was using an old wash cloth to clean the individual scales on his tail. Turns out the scales are dark blue, not muddy blue.

Who knew.

"Can you, or can you not, turn an individual finger into a dragon toe." Luz said, not a hint of sarcasm on her face and in her voice.

"I'll have to go outside as the toe is as long as i am, but you wanna find out?" Elikai hopped up from his place on the ground.

"Heck yeah I do!" Luz also hopped up, but from the couch instead of the floor.

"LES GO!" Elikai ran out of the door, slamming Hooty as he ran out.

"Morning." Amity said as she walked down the stairs. "Wait where's Luz?"

"Outside." Eda sighed.

"OK tha- WHATS GOING ON?" Amity said as she walked out of the door and spotted the shenanigans going on.

"...dragon toe" Elikai muttered as he successfully turned his middle finger into a scaled toe with a golden talon at the end. It was so long Elikai fell to the ground.

"Should I just bring Edric along and complete the idiotic trio." Amity deadpanned.

"I mean, he is currently 300 years behind us sooo." Luz poked Elikai's talon toe thing.

"HOOTY!!" Hooty lengthened himself to reach the three. He ended up hitting Amity with his beak as she was the closest to the door.

Without looking away from Luz and Elikai, Amity grabbed Hooty and shoved him to the ground.

"Never. Touch me. Again." Amity gritted out.

"Okay, okay, jeez. Ouch. Hoot." Hooty drew himself back into the door.

\----

"Eda, how did you and King get here anyways?" Willow asked as she summoned a couple small plants in the living room.

"I got bit by the snake, King didnt. I did the spell, now we're here." Eda said, thoroughly disinterested.

"SO ELIKAI CAN ACTUALLY TURN-" Luz yelled as she and Elikai ran in before Eda drew a spell circle that put an oracle hand over Luz's mouth.

"I dont care." Eda deadpanned.


	13. but what do we have in common?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're reliable with the LADIES

*another filler Lumity chapter. Seriously guys I'm running out of ideas*

"Hey Amity, we never did get around to the Azura book club." Luz remembered as herself and Amity sat in Luz's room. The others were downstairs playing Hex's hold 'em.

"Oh yeah, we didn't ." Amity said as she sharpened her daggers.

"Do you wanna start now?" Luz asked tentivley.

"OK." Amity put down her daggers and climbed in to the sleeping bag as Luz grabbed the Good Witch Azura 1. Luz then proceeded to climb inside the bag.

"Lets start" Luz opened the book. "I bag Azura though."

"Fine. I'll be Hecate then." Amity let out a smol bean laugh.

And so they began reading.

\----

"... and so Azura reached out her hand, '" Join me Hecate, be a part of my band."'' Luz said, her over dramatic Azura voice coming into play as she said this.

" Hecate stopped, looking away, "' Maybe Azura, but not this day."'' Amity also put on an accent, albeit hers sounded like a cheese grater met her voice box and they banged.

"Nuuuu Hecamity why are you doing this to meee?" Luz dropped the accent as she closed the book. They had spent a good 5 or 6 hours reading out the book.

"Hecamity?" Amity looked slightly confused.

"Y'now since I'm Azura, Luzura and since you're Hecate, Hecamity." Luz tried to explain. It was kinda hard to mush Hecate and Amity together.

"Oh." Amity nodded a small bit. Even she understood the hardness of the name mushing that Luz did.

Luz checked her phone that somehow still has battery before saying, "Its pretty late, you wanna go to sleep?"

"OK." Amity yawned.

They adjusted their lying down position, Luz put the book beside her phone and they went to sleep. This time they did a little spoon big spoon thing.

Amity was little spoon.

\----

(Ordinary starts playing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE ARE SO MANY TO DEFLOWER.


End file.
